I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.
1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.
I just spent $87 in hearing test copays to clinically prove my 4yo is just ignoring me.
"gentle reminder that cleopatra’s beauty is rumored to have started wars in ancient history" — a post going around Tumblr
Actually Cleopatra was said to have not actually been that beautiful — men said that until she opened her mouth, she was simply average. What made her beautiful according to Plutarch was her personality and intelligence. Her sparkling wit, charming personality, talent with over half a dozen languages, and in-depth knowledge of almost everything was just so impressive that she often became beautiful in their eyes.
So while that post is nice in that it’s trying to say that women are becoming more beautiful and that if you lived in 30 B.C., you could have started wars, I like this version much better.
You may not be traditionally beautiful, but goddamn neither was Cleopatra and she seduced two of the most powerful men in the world.
This is a good response on reddit to someone asking how to reduce their anxiety about playing Go, and it applies to basically everything in life.
One idea is to try to adopt what psychologists call an “incremental” rather than an “entity” mindset. When people have entity beliefs, they think that they have a fixed, unchangeable amount of ability in a domain. Thus, failure means that you lack ability. On the other hand, when people have incremental beliefs, they think that they can learn and get better in a particular domain. Thus, failure just means you’re learning. Another way to think of it: with entity beliefs, you have performance goals - to prove how good you are. With incremental beliefs, you have growth goals - to get better. In pretty much every sense, an incremental mindset will be more adaptive.
There are also other ways to adopt less ego-related goals. Instead of trying to win, you can try to learn, try to teach your opponent something, try to find good moves, try to “solve the puzzle” that the board presents, try to give your opponent a challenging/rewarding experience rather than an easy win, etc.
Your anxiety likely comes from seeing a given game as an opportunity to prove that you are good at something (or an opportunity to reveal your incompetence), when really, a game is a much more rich, interesting experience than that. Any goal you can adopt that makes you focus on something besides your self/ego will help you keep that in mind.